If you haven’t read my account of how prayer and fasting helped me to re-unite with my son, whom I had relinquished for adoption, look for posts titled "My Son, the Godsend."
As I wandered in the desert of unbelief, many people were praying for me, most especially my mother. As a result of those fervent prayers, several people came into my life who pointed me in the right direction. One of these was a beautiful Christian lady, Cindy, who was my neighbor in Phoenix. She and I began walking together in the Phoenix Mountain Preserve and she gently began ministering to me. I remember saying to her "I don't think I sin. I consider myself a good person and I try to be nice to everyone." Now that my Christian consciousness has been raised, I think of that moment with great chagrin. I don't remember what she said to me, but whatever it was, it was the first step to my considering the notion of myself as a sinner, a person in need or repentance and forgiveness.
A few years ago I wrote:
I feel the divineness of Your inspiration:
You have planted Your spirit within me.
I have accepted Your will, Oh Lord.
In Your Word I have found deliverance.
I have cried out to You in my pain.
I have offered myself to You,
And You have accepted me.
You have given me the key,
Opened wide the door.
You invited me to sit beside You,
Sharing your Body and Your Blood.
You suffered me as Your child,
Allowed me to anoint Your feet.
You invited me to see my reflection
In the mirror of Your Spirit.
I asked for You, and You came!
You cast aside the slimy serpents
Of pride, vanity, anxiety, avarice,
That covered my body from head to toe.
They shriveled slowly in Your sun,
Slinking away, leaving one by one.
Yet some still writhe within my sight,
Waiting to be recalled.
I beseech You: Hold my hand
As I wade through the tumultuous waters of my sin.
I grip your hand fiercely,
I grip your hand fiercely,
So as never to be lost again.
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